chew
restless
wanting
dig
yearn
bite the apple
buy into beauty
look around
where’s the form you haven’t seen
who’s the friend you haven’t called
embrace
long
nothings new anymore
except the apple
accept the apple
regenerate
same whole
changing parts
from a distance
all is how it should be
from a distance
all is symmetrical in it’s asymmetry
from a distance
i forget that I’m in it
bite the apple
chew.
fishing for answers
it’s been months since my last meal
i put the bait on the hook
and cast the line into conversation
no bites
reel it in
if you want to catch a big fish
you have to use big bait
cast the line
feel a nibble
heart rate accelerates
reel it in
too small to eat
need a sharper hook
one that really
digs into the cheek
can’t be too obvious
cast the line
stomach growls
I’ve been fishing the same pond
my entire adult life
the fish stopped biting ages ago
reel it in
memorial day
I miss my grandfather on my mothers side
don’t get me wrong, i miss them both
but today I’m thinking about him in particular.
it’s memorial day
and I’m supposed to eat a hot dog
my mom told me so on the phone
she made a point to say it.
so I feel especially guilty because
I haven’t
I don’t think I’m going to
it’s already late
and I need to eat dinner
but I don’t want a hot dog
a hot dog is not a dinner
and then what am I supposed to do
get a hot dog after dinner?
dessert hot dog?
or rather
hot dog for dessert
a hot dog is not a dessert
tiramisu is a dessert
a delicate yet rich
layering of mascarpone whipped cream
and espresso soaked ladyfingers
my grandfather loved lady fingers
he would buy them from the “Shop n Sav”
or whatever it was called
and he would have two with his coffee
I miss my grandfather
a good cry
I am volcanic
lain dormant
for too long
active internally
terrestrial pressure builds
beneath
molten lava
poised to pour
down the mountainside
that is my cheeks
adding layers to skin
as it dries and hardens
extending my island
then
when ash has settled
and civilization is rebuilt
the soil will be rich
the fruit will be sweet
the crops will grow tall
the air will be clean
and I will inhale
sharply, deeply
into the bottom of my diaphragm
{core of my earth}
holding it for another
t h o u s a n d y e a r s