Translated by Vlora Konushevci
I will not forgive his fidelity
I will not forgive him for never cheating on me
I won’t forgive him!
As I wanted to appear merciful,
I wanted to be proud of my courage,
I wanted to see myself challenged by the beauty of another,
by her schemes and charms,
by high heels which I never liked.
I wanted to see the fear in his eyes,
submission, and his attitude when confronted with betrayal.
I wanted to hear him stuttering,
I wanted to see him guilty kneeling before me,
like one does before Saint Mary,
as I wanted to feel as mighty as her,
as I wanted to measure my sensibility, measure my strength
would I be able to send to hell
butterflies in my stomach, the wedding ring with his name engraved on it
and twenty grey hairs for twenty years of marriage.
I wanted, oh how much I wanted,
to see him coming home late
and myself just as those victims in Hollywood movies
in a burgundy robe
waiting by a night lamp in darkness.
I wanted to find a lipstick mark on the shirt I bought him
and measure the balance of my rage.
I wanted to look him in the eye and say:
now you’ve proven your manhood,
because where I come from
men’s manhood is measured
only by the number of women they “have had”!
Don’t surrender your soul to me, please
Don’t surrender your soul to me, please!
I can’t contain your breath in these two hands.
Don’t surrender your soul, please!
Don’t let your regard depend on me.
I don’t want to be an ark crammed with relics undigested by age.
Let the autumns come as always, proud of their charm.
Do not disturb the dust of grey desires this season.
They have long grown accustomed to darkness,
they may as well be blinded by light.
Love stories are not alike
They
sprout erupt fade vanish revive despise disguise
Love stories are not alike
they’re unique
unrepeatable unending unthinkable unbearable
damned
unreachable
Love stories never dry out
They
breath
live
flow
Love stories
bewilder glorify resent grieve forgive demand
give
take
Love stories
frighten cheer disgrace adorn leave return
They’re elliptical
They’re freedom
They’re slavery
Love stories dare they’re endless
limitless
they undress get you undressed they change get confused they lose they win
they are won
Immense ones
No one belongs to anyone, Luz!
Neither my days belong to you,
Nor your nights belong to me.
Neither do we belong to this century
We are the forsaken ones, Luz!
Unshelled from ourselves
Unyielded from time
Witches hexed us,
Thrown our dice far away
We drift aimlessly, Luz!
We don’t resemble others!
Neither scarcity nor excess can bind us
We can’t be yielded nor captured!
We’re not enough, Luz. We’re not enough!
Forged by the light
Banished by fate
This place doesn’t want us happy!
We neither depart nor return!
We are too late, Luz!
We make love and abandon it in the streets.
Shy away from it estranged from ourselves.
We are forsaken, Luz!
Teetering on the edge of tomorrows
Bodies in the grip of the abyss.
We are cursed, Luz!
Belonging to no one!
Neither my days belong to you,
Nor your nights belong to me.
We are, immense ones, Luz!
